I grew up looking down
At my feet
Afraid of my eyes
And the truths that shine in them.
_
Call me a stranger
Call me blood and bone
It doesn’t matter
You killed me either way.
_
I tell people I rose in love with you
Because I never remember falling
But it’s all a lie.
_
Your love is not soft
It’s hard and it digs at me
All night long.
_
My father worries about my children
Will they be like you too?
He says
Maybe
I say
It’s a shame
He says, then he spits on the earth.
_
My mother prays for me
It’s the devil, cast it out!
She says
Out!
I scream
Then I throw myself everywhere.
_
I fear many things
But death is not one of them
Even when people snap their fingers
I still love death
That’s why I smiled
The day
Mother said
You are dead to me.
_
If people loved you
They would wear dresses
And dance at your grave
And I will watch and dance too
We will rejoice as one of us
Has again, conquered life.
_
If I should give you
A reason
It would be a lie
Things work
Then they don’t
What we choose to do afterwards
Doesn’t change anything.
_
I see all the places
I want to go tomorrow
But even today
I have not arrived
Why?
_
If I drank coffee
And wore glasses
And had an accent
You will believe my every untrue
But even now
You still believe
That’s why I push you
Away
Then I take you back
Just to do it
Again
Over
And
Over.
_
At dawn
I wear my skin
And brace for the day
People smile at me
I smile back
But all they ever see
Is not me
Can never be me
It is only in the dark
That I come out
I dance to the tune of my soul
All night
Then at dawn again
I wear my skin.
_
In my life
There are no lowest times
There are just times that are low
Always.
_
Don’t give men anything
They never return it
And they never stop taking!
But I never listened to you
I gave men everything
They left me so empty
That I float across galaxies.
_
From when I was ten
I have always regretted
One thing
And even now that I’m old
I still hate life
And women and God.
_
You pinned me
To the wall
And ate me
Then spat me out
And asked if I enjoyed it.
_
Even with my weak legs
And my confusion
You still laughed at me
Now
When people laugh
I see you everywhere.
_
I have killed many
Things
But my feelings for you
Refuse to die
_
What I have learned
From my sadness
Be happy and die
Everything joy is enemy
Fight it!
_
I laugh when I see you
Play with my emotions
You don’t know about
All the hells inside of
Me
Once I stop caring.
_
Men broke me in big ways
But you see God
He broke me in all the little ways
And when he was done
He tossed me aside
And said
Walk, my child.
Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash
“The last time I tried to be happy, I died. Now, I wear my sadness like a crown, and like a cape, even like a lipstick.”
I could feel the acidic taste of every emotion spilled into this piece.
I really love love loved reading this.
I’m not a poem person but I read this one and enjoyed every word 🥰
I hear you, I see you, I feel you and I understand you. Your command over literary tools is outstanding. I look forward to more of you.
Wow wow woww
I love this😭😭😭😭
I want to give you a hug
OMG I do need a hug. I’ll settle for a virtual one.
Thanks for reading, I really appreciate.
God!!!! I love this. This is so nice. Your use of paradox too is crazy!
Keep it up man
Thank you Victor. This means a lot.