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Letters To The Girl I Have Forgotten To Be | Racheal Torty

I can feel your disappointment
At me, at what you have become
You had so many plans and goals
That 100 days writing challenge
The stories you wanted to publish
All of which I seem to have fallen short of

You were so happy, so joyful
Your smile would light up the room
Your footsteps echo in their minds
Can you recognize the melancholy in me now?

You use to dream
All those seemingly lofty unattainable dreams
They were only impossible for other people
You lived them in your sleep
I dream of reality now

You always had no reservation when loving
You loved without needing reasons
Your arms forgave fast and your legs pursued
Even when your love was unrequited
Now, my heart fears to pour out itself

You would start your day with the Word
Your heart never strayed from the truth
Black was black, white remained white
Now, I only seem to tread on the gray lines

You wanted someone to listen
You yearned to meet them
Now I have met them
But the words get stuck in my throat

Everyone looks for you in me
I have tried to be you all over again
But in becoming you, I am losing me
I want to start all over, Nwanyi oma
I want to figure it all out slowly

I cannot move into the future
Whilst tightly bonded to the past
I have forgotten to be you
But perhaps, there is still hope
For me to be myself.


Photo by Chad Madden on Unsplash


Racheal Torty is a Christian, pharmacist, graphics designer and blogger. She is also quite passionate about football. You can follow her on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.

Published inPoetry&Musings

6 Comments

  1. Efeurhobo Dorcas Efeurhobo Dorcas

    I love this so much.
    I can’t move into the future while tightly bounded to the pazt

    • It’s like trying to be in two places at once. Thank you, Dorcas.

  2. Power Babaniyi Power Babaniyi

    Wow, this was amazing, I need to read more of this daily…

    You touched the deepest part of me… More ink

  3. Aleke Aleke

    I relate so much to this! Keep on. There’s still so much of yourself to find, so many versions and tgey can all coexist together. You’ll find your path. Just take it easy on your little girl ❤

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